Posted by: Lyn Rex | 23 September 2008

In Which I Reveal My Domestic Side

So, after multiple years of pining, I finally got a Dyson Vacuum.

This one to be specific:

The Magnificent Dyson Allergy & Asthma Vacuum

The Magnificent Dyson Allergy & Asthma Vacuum

In short, I love it like I love David, which is to say a great deal.And, yes, it is everything you have heard.  It is large and bulky and, yes, there is no way to carry the attachments on board.  And, of course, it is a $500 vacuum.

But I don’t fucking care.  I love the beautiful piece of modern domestic machinery.

Two years ago, David and I asked for his parents to get us a Dyson for a Chrismakuh gift.  Them, being the solid, staid, stuck in their ways type, refused to get a Dyson because they didn’t know the brand. They got us a Hoover WindTunnel, see picture below for reference.  It sucked, but not in the way a vacuum is supposed to suck.

The Uselessly Un-sucking Hoover Windtunnel

The Uselessly Un-sucking Hoover Windtunnel

Within the first six months of use, the self-propel feature was broken- sort of. The switch was permanently on, but the feature only worked intermittently. I’d be pushing it along, laddi daddi do, when the self-propel would kick in and yank my arm out of socket or cause the vacuum to lock down and me to trip on it, stubbing my big toe more often than I’d care to reveal.

Over the next year, it gradually decreased in its ability to pull stuff up from the carpet. It worked really well though for making tracks in the carpet to make it look like we had vacuumed for guests and company, which is exactly how we chose to handle the situation. Because I was *not* going to buy a new vacuum unless it was my coveted Dyson.

So, when it completely died, and I spent my days looking longingly at the Dyson my housekeeper used. It was beautiful and actually cleaned. I pined for my Dyson with the longing of a fat girl on a diet for a Chocolate Sundae with extra fudge topping, whipped cream and sprinkled Oreo bits.

When the finances finally worked out, we bought the Dyson Allergy vac. It’s beautiful. Easy to use. Surprisingly easy to move with its bulk. It’s like a graceful shotputter or weightlifter. Totally worth the cost and weight.

And I, embarrassingly, am geekily in love with it.


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