Posted by: Lyn Rex | 15 January 2009

In Which I Attempt to Apply for Jobs

The most frustrating thing about the job application process in this millenia is the minute details that are asked for on applications.  Seriously.  I can’t ever find a job of interest, fill out the application and go on my merry way.  Nor can I just submit a resume with my experience ten years ago as a sandwich maker formatted to appear as if I am ready to help troubleshoot the company’s LAN and that the job completely prepared me for this current career. Oh no.

Now these power hungry HR people want to know everything about me and my work history. Questions like: “When was the exact date you started that summer job over ten years ago? (Just the month and year are completely unacceptable.)  And your pay (no ballpark)?  And your supervisor’s name and number? Their email? Their birthday? Their spouse’s birthday?”

I always want to write in prose something smarmy to the effect of “my supervisor at the job was some dumb older than me college kid.  This information is useless.  Anything I give you will be wrong.” Then, at the end, I have to sign a statement saying “Everything in this application is true to the best of my knowledge.”  I know I am lying when I sign this- because I know some of the information required of me, I made up on the spot because it was a summer job ten freaking years ago that I worked for three months and hell if I remember the color of the shirt I was forced to wear while I was employed there.

Oh, another thing that just makes me want to pull out my hair- when the final screen of the application process is a last minute cover letter and resume. And, no, you can’t save and continue later.  They want this information pronto or I will just have to re-do the whole application process.

Yesterday, I applied to be one of those people that proctor standardized tests. (Yes, I have two Bachelor degrees and am mere months away from having multiple graduate degrees and I am applying to be the person who explains how to fill out bubbles on a test sheet- I have sunk this low. It’s a flipping job already!)  The beginning of the process clearly states no resumes or cover letters desired only the online application will be accepted, so I start filling out their form.  I call my grandmother for the exact town in Germany her mother’s aunt lived in and get all their little nit picky details and get to the final page.  There in step 299 out of 300 is: “Please cut and paste your resume in the following square” and, beneath that, “Please cut and paste your cover letter in the box below.”   Of course, beneath that box is a countdown timer saying if both boxes are not completed within the next five minutes all information in my application will be erased and I can begin again but this time I will need to have a greater amount of information about which boat (number and Captain’s name, please!) my ancestors crossed over the Ocean.

The step can’t be skipped either.  The boxes must be filled in order to continue onto the next screen, so I end up writing some bullshit letter about it has been my lifelong dream to be the one giving these exams instead of the one taking them.  Because, really, what do you write when you are applying to give tests all day. “I’ve long wanted to work in an environment where I can cause people enough stress to start crying by staring at them and the only sound I hear is the scratch-scratch of pencil lead. My desire to rat people out for cheating has long been documented by my history of tattle-telling on my coworkers who take an extra five minutes over their lunch break. Please hire me. I would like to buy food again.  The ketchup packets are running low.”

Ah, but that one’s done and know I am applying for a job with the state. It’s a little more rigorous as it requires hair and blood samples. I’m just glad there hasn’t been a job at the Federal level.  Goodness knows what that is going to require! I can only imagine it will involve a scope and one or more of my orifices.

Posted by: Lyn Rex | 13 January 2009

In Which I Hit the Gym

The nice thing about being unemployed is the free time it affords me.  Sure, I am looking for a job, but… overall, my time is my own and so I am trying to be productive with it by going to the gym.

Yes, finding a job is also a good way to be productive but much less fun.

David joked last night that me hitting the gym means he needs to start going with me or some buff dude is going to snatch me away.  I laughed because I am not one of those chicks who works out while looking perfect.  I get red in the face, my hair goes crazy, I sweat, I wheeze.  In short, I am not the chick you are going to try to get a piece of or so I thought.

This morning I was there doing the circuit equipment focusing on my weak arms while listening to my new custom mix on the iTouch.  Somewhere between the row and the bicep curl, I notice there is a guy kind of lurking on my periphery. Other women know what I am talking about, the guy who stands there facing you, looking at you but at a distance.  Even as you move further away to a new station, the distance between the two of you becomes smaller.

I just kept doing my sets while he moved closer and closer to me until he started to be next to me.  Continuing my policy of ignoring him by focusing on a spot on the far far wall, he finally moved away, back to the free weights where he was working prior to the swoop in for attack.

At this point, I finally allowed myself to actually look at him and wow.  David really has nothing to worry about it.  If that guy is the kind of guy that is going to be hitting on me, there are no worries whatsoever.  He looked a cross between Adolf Hitler and Saddam Hussein had mated to produce a fat man with Hitler’s mustache yet Hussein’s beardy thing. It was awful.

And not at all the confidence booster an unmployed overweight late twenties chick wants or David should fear.

It was, however, a reason to get back to my ten minute mile so I can run far, far away from any other Adolf Hitler-Saddam Hussein crossover–hopefully into the arms of beloved.

Posted by: Lyn Rex | 31 December 2008

In Which I Become More Excited for The Watchmen

I know I’m late to The Watchmen party, having only read my first graphic novel within the last year, but I really, truly am excited for the film. I just hope that the battle between FOX and Warner Bros. allows the film to come out in the way it has been prepared by Snyder.

Watchmen Exclusive (trailer with additional footage and interviews)

And, yes, I realize everyone else is making their lists about the important events or favorites or goals concerning the end of the year, but upon reflection, this last year was more of a downer than an upper and I’d rather not dwell on it anymore than I have to.

Posted by: Lyn Rex | 19 December 2008

In Which I Talk Hulu

One thing that unemployment has provided me is a great amount of time to watch TV and more importantly think about the TV I am watching and how I watch it.

Mostly, even before we cut off cable to save money, I watched my shows on Hulu, which if you aren’t on, you should be.  NBC and FOX run the place meaning CBS and ABC shows aren’t on there- to their own detriment.

I’ve tried to watch CBS and ABC shows on their website players but the players are poorly organized, difficult to navigate and hardly function most of the time.  And don’t get me started on the incompatibility issues arising from my use of Mac’s Safari or Mozilla’s Firefox browsers.  Something which ABC and CBS are stupid to ignore as the youth, those most likely to stream TV in nontraditional settings, are flocking to Apple products.

Hulu works because it is simple.  You log on, you create a queue of the shows you want to be automatically added after they have aired, and watch. You can also just browse the recently added or alphabetical listings to see what’s available. The commercials are short and, unlike ABC, you don’t have to click to continue watching the show, the show just continues after the end of the commercial. Also, Hulu has movies.  Important movies like Bring it On, Rudy and Dude, Where’s My Car.

I honestly don’t like streaming shows illegally so I’ve stopped watching shows on ABC and CBS.  I loved Pushing Daisies, CSI: Miami and CSI: Las Vegas have their charms but I’m not going to waste my time watching them on sub-par platforms.  While CBS and Moonves aren’t suffering for viewers, ABC is hemorrhaging viewers (Seriously, beyond Lost, can you name an ABC show?) and if they want to get back that all important youth demographic, they need to seriously consider unloading the trash that is the ABC viewer, and signing aboard with Hulu.

Posted by: Lyn Rex | 14 December 2008

In Which I Am Inspired

I think I’ll just be playing this on a loop until things start getting better.

Posted by: Lyn Rex | 12 December 2008

In Which I Am Dealt a Metaphorical Deathblow

I haven’t been updating.  I’ve been mirred in a depression.

My lasy update was on the 18th, and not much good has happened since.

Let’s see since then…

I got laid off on the Monday before Thanksgiving.

Then, I had my two-week checkup with the doctor who explained I have endometriosis and that it would be difficult for me to get pregnant.

Wednesday was quiet, but Thursday I rear-ended someone.

So, yeah.  Mostly I’ve been just depressed about what a complete and total loser I am.

Of course, the job search is going poorly.  I have zero experience, okay four months, in the field in which I will be getting my masters (expected grad date: May 2009).  My biology degree I’m discovering has basically expired since it has been more than five years since I graduated with it.

I am just a pathetic, miserable wreck.  Why would I write?

What would I write about?  The fact that the car I just paid off I am considering selling because I need the cash.  Or the fact that when I look at job searches, I either have the education or the experience but never the winning both needed for getting the job.  Or should I write about how I don’t have references because I don’t stay in contact with people and I’ve moved twice in the last five years each time at least a thousand miles from the previous place.  How I see myself as a burden on my husband, dragging him down, so much so that he is considering taking out a part-time position to make up for my loss of income? Should I write about that stuff?

I look back at my life and see such a series of stupid decisions and missed opportunities.

I look back at my life and see a stupid girl who messes up everything.

I had the cheerleader face on for a while.  I was championing how this was a golden opportunity to force myself into getting into the career I want, rather than a negative event.  I was excited by the possibilities.

Now, I’m just realizing how few possibilities are out there for a 28-year old fuck up with degrees in four fields- well, only three if you discount the expired biology degree, and experience in one field that requires zero education and has no upward mobility. All I can say to myself is “well done, you fucking fuck-up.”

Posted by: Lyn Rex | 18 November 2008

In Which I Sit Up

Today’s goal is to sit in a chair for two hours.  That’s right, sit up in a chair.  Laying down, walking, standing- no problems there.  However, sitting is rather difficult.

I need to practice because I’ve got to attend a dinner this weekend.  A dinner where I will be expected to sit. Upright.  Probably without my feet elevated by a footstool.  And leaning back will be discouraged.

Which means I will also have to practice eating like a regular person, meaning no more elevating my plate to within inches beneath my mouth.  This action is also discouraged.

I have decided to do both currently.  For the first time in two weeks, I am posting while sitting at my desk where I will also be eating once my food is heated.  Very exciting stuff.

I’m also sitting up and paying attention because I am actually interested in the Blackberry Storm.  Crazy, eh?  I hated my previous blackberry with a passion and I love my 3G iPhone.  Why I am interested in the Storm then?  It’s not the clickable touch screen or 3.2 mega-pixel camera/video recorder or the fact I can hook up my laptop to the Storm to use the device as a modem or the fact that John Krasinski (Jim from The Office) narrates the commercial.  It is simply the network that the Storm is on–Verizon.  I hate being locked to AT&T with the iPhone.  I hate the outrageous costs and flakey service.  I was with Verizon for almost eight years when I left for no other reason than the iPhone.

Now, with my business needs not being met completely by the iPhone, with the increasing add-on costs of having the iPhone, with the dropped calls, the Storm is very tempting.  Very, very tempting and it’s a shame the marketing has been so poor, so little and, so far, unnoticed.

Posted by: Lyn Rex | 17 November 2008

In Which I Get Results

The Good News: “The biopsy samples were benign.”   In other words, NO CANCER!

The Bad News: “Let’s come into my office and we will discuss the rest of the results.”

While I am sure of what condition my doctor is about to diagnose me as having, I am going to wait until my meeting with her to get full details before opening up discussion here.  Maybe it’s my way of remaining coy or keeping it private or my way of staying in denial.

Can’t be too upset.  At least, I dodged the cancer bullet right?  Got to look on the bright side of things.  No cancer is, after all, no cancer.

Posted by: Lyn Rex | 16 November 2008

In Which I Bite Her Nails

Tomorrow, the results of the biopsies should be in.  Can’t say I’m not nervous.   I think my ability to heal will definitely increase once that stress is removed.   It’s hard to focus on things like school and work and relaxing so my insides can heal when the mind is wondering “what if…?”

I tried using my time restricted to a couch for working on my NaNoWriMo novel, but it hasn’t worked out so well.  I couldn’t focus on it but I also have the problem of falling asleep mid-anything.  One time, I fell asleep mid-type and my computer slipped and fell onto the floor.  The crazy part was I was awake enough to hear it thud but just thought to myself, “well, too late to do anything about it now. Might as well finish the nap.”

Overall, the healing is going well.  Yesterday, the husband and I walked all around the mall before going out to dinner.  Today, I didn’t do as much walking because we think I might have done it a little too much yesterday but still managed to walk around the grocery store with him.

I’m still tired constantly and having trouble moving from sitting to standing or visa versa, but overall can’t complain too much.  On my first check up last week, my doctor was really happy with how all of the incisions were looking and I was doing overall.

Now, I just need those results and I can really get focused on healing.

Because I’m spending my time recovering, as per doctor’s orders, I’ve decided to plow through this year’s nominees for the National Book Award in the Young Adult category.

Highly Recommended

Highly Recommended

The first book I read Chains by Laurie Halse Andersen had me drawn in immediately despite being about a protagonist whose life situation is nothing like mine, being that it is about a 13 year old black slave girl in Revolutionary Era America. The book, despite leaving readers with the promise of a follow-up volume, ties up loose ends and present such a real, tangible feeling of what was like in the time period for a young girl in slavery.  While I leave it for those who are more knowledgeable in these matters to prove the ways in which things are misrepresented, the story plays well and I cared about the well-developed characters.

The Book Which I Can Hardly Wait to Get Into My History

Less Recommended

The second book I am trying to get through The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks by E. Lockhart has me bored.  I’m at page ninety-eight and have far too much to read left.  At this point in the book, all I can think is that I hardly care about this chick.  She’s rich, at an elite school, pretty much guaranteed to get into  and is at some point in the text going to get into some trouble at the school, but won’t rat out the other participants.  The reviews for this book are effusive in their praise, so I’m curious as to what I’m missing. Also, at some point, the book turns into a rah-rah-rah for feminism.

I hate giving up on books.  I hate not being able to speak to people about what may be a potentially good book for their shelf or child, but at this point, I simply can’t recommend Frankie.

Tonight, for my walk, we are going to go to the bookstore and I think I will pick up one of the other nominees.  Hopefully, my bookstore will have a copy of The Spectacular Now by Tim Tharp or What I Saw and How I Lied by Judy Blundell.  The final book nominated The Underneath by Kathi Appelt, despite being about animals, really doesn’t grab my interest.  Besides, I need to get to reading though my required readings by Jacqueline Woodson for a paper I am doing on her.  If only Frankie wasn’t so damn boring, maybe I’d be able to procrastinate a little longer on actual schoolwork.

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